Feelings expressed, unless anger, are seen as a weakness. People can say whatever they want or try to convince themselves that they are different from the rest, but THIS IS WHAT WORKS WITH EVERY FEMALE I'VE MET. And I would be foolish to stop doing what has been working for me to go back to doing things that did not work for me. There are very specific psychological reasons why females go for the bad boys while the nice guys sit around depressed and lonely while foolishly thinking that if they continue to keep being nice and following dumb "just be yourself"advice, their dating lives will magically change for the better. If you believe women are dating "bad guys" while the nice ones are left alone...However, I will not even waste my time typing too much further and getting into all that because I need to move on to other things (and there is plenty of material all over the net to explain the psychological reasoning behind it). well, that means most men are just bad humans beings.Men may experience their feelings through physical complaints.
It's only when men are taken off guard (such as when Rob visited the animal shelter) that their feelings are free to surface. Rather, many are trapped in the confines of a socialization process that tells them it’s unmanly to cry, to hurt, or to express the myriad other motions we all experience as a result of living fully as human beings. I'm a woman, and I feel exactly those same pressures. We got a puppy and the puppy got out of the apt as we were doing laundry in a separate laundry room. I know that when my wife is wound up or needy, it's a lot easier to play dumb about what's bugging me than tell her and set off a good fight. I am just smart enough to keep it to myself because I KNOW the awful consequences of coming across as the nice guy....
I think it's a cultural problem that has evolved to encompass both genders. Therefore, I now keep most of my feelings to myself and play the game because that is the best option and I've noticed my success with women skyrocket as I learned to do this properly and stop being the nice sensitive straight forward honest guy who talks about feelings and started being more mysterious, somewhat aloof and jerkish.
Society encourages men to express their feelings, but when they do, their partners are often petrified, if not horrified.
Women, they may believe, want their partners to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle.
Such unplanned, unexpected emotion can often prove overwhelming. My ex husband became an alcoholic rather than tell me how he was feeling & as a result our marriage ended. It's a shame because to truly love someone you have to willing to be vulnerable and as long as that secure environment is not present it will be very difficult to express your true love.
I worked with one couple for whom this was the case: Rob had taken a new job several hours away. But my new partner & I do talk about our feelings, even though he struggles doing this. But for the most part, society is OK with women who cry; whereas, almost no men are allowed to cry except in very exceptional circumstances (e.g. "Although men may not always know what they're feeling, there's one thing they’re sure about: they’re convinced they’re in a major double bind.
In fact, results from numerous research studies—as well as clinical experience—tells us that men may be right to be wary of women who implore them to show their true feelings. I do agree that men are caught between a rock & a hard place when it comes to emotions.
Men who deviate from the traditional masculine norm by being emotionally expressive and talking about their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted. Part of the problem for some men may be that they have silenced their feelings for so long that they haven't developed resources for handling them when they do arise. So I think we need to educate women on their expectations of men alongside self reliance. It appears women just don't want to take the time to build a strong secure healthy relationship where a man can be secure enough to express their feelings without being ridiculed, embarrassed and demeaned.
Emily argued that a dog would provide her with some needed company, and make her feel secure when alone in their home. I know I'm encouraged to express my emotions at home.
In his logical, analytical way, Rob gave her every reason why the timing was not right, for example: On an intellectual level, Emily knew he was right, but her heart insisted she would be happier with the dog. With much coaxing, Rob agreed to accompany Emily to the local animal shelter “just to look” at dogs. As long as they're about my wife and positive in nature.
He felt terribly sad that his daughter was going through such pain, and he fell justifiably angry.